


Teeth in the Grass

by foxwedding



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Drug Addiction, Multi, Sibling Incest, Threats of Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-11-25 23:50:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18173075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxwedding/pseuds/foxwedding
Summary: For Klaus, the process of learning to control his powers is trial-and-error.  Luckily, his family is there for damage control.Set in some sort of AU where they all avert the apocalypse, and everyone is now living back at the academy, trying to sort out their lives.





	1. Klaus

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Teeth in the Grass, by Iron and Wine, which I think describes family feuding beautifully.
> 
> Diego/Klaus will be more of a slow burn

Now that the apocalypse had been avoided, Klaus found sober life to be exceedingly dull. Although the impulse to get high was muted, the habit of being in a constant state of searching for his next hit was harder to shake. Suddenly, he had a whole lot more free time in his schedule, and nothing to occupy it. At first, Klaus thought he'd shift his focus to sex, only to turn right around and run home, away from the siren call of the vices found in bars.

In its place, he tried knitting, painting, playing the piano, and assisting Five in his endless reign of terror against his former employer. In the end, the constant chattering of the dead drove him to defeat, and he resigned himself to learn how to control his powers. After all, that was Vanya's new mantra, and it was turning out pretty well for her. 

Unfortunately, Klaus's powers were not exactly straight forward in nature. The key to controlling Vanya's powers was control over her inner emotional state. But Klaus's powers acted, more or less, like a conduit, and he had exactly zero control over the comings and goings of the specters. They'd leave precisely when they wanted to, and not a second before.

This proved to be a massive problem one night during dinner time, with the whole academy sitting around the kitchen table and stuffing themselves with spaghetti. Klaus was trying to see how large a mass of noodles he could twirl onto his fork when, abruptly, his siblings all fell silent. Klaus glanced up and followed his siblings' gazes.

There was a man towering in one dark corner of the kitchen, brawny arms loose at the sides of his barrel-chest. The tight, striped ringer shirt and corduroy bell bottoms, in combination with the low sideburns framing his pallid face and a thick mustache ringing his grey lips, dated his time-of-death immediately. Klaus sighed and threw down his fork. For fucks sake. Elbows on the table, he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, praying that, when he looked back up, the guy would just be gone.

He wasn't.

"Klaus." That was Luther. "I'm gonna need you to, uh, get rid of Sonny Bono in the corner there." The words were phrased like a request and not an order, because everyone knew that Klaus was having trouble taking the reins of his powers.

Klaus felt like laughing hysterically. Banishing ghosts was akin to herding cats at this point. Still, he twisted in his chair to address the poor guy.

"Hey!" He snapped his fingers in the guy's direction to grab its attention. The ghost zeroed in on him immediately, its lifeless, unblinking stare making Klaus shudder. "You can't be in here. Get the fuck out." He gestured impatiently towards the door.

In retrospect, addressing a foreign specter with the same tone that one would use to shoo a dog off of a couch was not Klaus's most benevolent moment. It showed too, because the man began to stalk his way over to him. Immediately, the air turned cold and damp, smelling of wet stone and Spanish moss. And, with only the audacity of a man that knows he has six super-human siblings to hide behind, Klaus doubled down.

"Listen, you can't sit with us, buddy. You're dressed like a member of the Manson family, and, quite frankly, it's not working for you."

"You can see me." The words sounded like gravel.

"And now I can hear you," Klaus quipped back flippantly. "Can you believe the nerve of this guy?" 

He turned to look back at his siblings, seeking agreement, only to find them focused on the ghost with horror. Even Five, usually unflappable, looked increasingly anxious. Beside him, Diego covertly slid a table knife into his lap. Vanya looked like she might start crying.

"No, no. He can't touch us. It's all fine." Klaus tried to reassure them, waving a hand in the air. Although, he wasn't entirely positive of this fact. He'd never unknowingly conjured a spirit so effectively that it was visible- and audible- to others.

"You're pretty." The words were spoken right in Klaus's ear. He tossed his head back and groaned with exasperation. Now the ghost was hitting on him in front of his own siblings. How embarrassing. 

"Jesus Christ, whhhyyy," he sighed out. "We're gonna have to take our food into the living room, guys. I don't even know what to tell you about this bullshit."

As he went to sit back up, there was a cold force pulling at his scalp, stopping the movement. Klaus was confused, and he reached up to free himself. Slowly, his head was turned to face the specter head-on. Klaus couldn't make himself look away its eyes, which were flat with directionless rage. There was a moment between becoming aware that the icy force was actually the man's fist in his hair, and the appalling realization that the man had, indeed, manifested himself the physical world. 

"So, so pretty," it repeated, and the fear felt like free-falling. 

"Oh fuck," Klaus exhaled, feeling the stretch at the corners of eyelids as his eyes widened involuntarily.

There was a single, palpably tense beat, before several things happened all at once.

The grip in his hair violently intensified and Klaus found himself being flung to the floor, and then the kitchen was an explosion of sound and movement. Nearby, he heard Alison scream, and then the sound of several chairs tipping to the floor as their occupants shot up. Before Klaus could orient himself, the man had climbed down on top of him, one hand at Klaus's throat and the other catching a wrist. The sensation was like being held down in an ice bath, and he quickly lost feeling in the places where his bare skin made contact. A split second later, Klaus could see Diego and Luther over the man's shoulders, pulling at him with twin expressions of fury. In the corner of his vision, Five was flitting from place to place frantically and Alison was biting out rumor after rumor. None of it mattered.

Klaus realized that the specter had been imparted with will stronger than the force of his physical being alone. Behind the horror, Klaus was baffled. Had his ghosts always been like this? With the exception of Ben, none had ever been able to make physical contact with him. Speaking of which-

"Where the fuck is Ben?" It was Diego, and the desperation in his voice scared Klaus almost more than the brute on top of him. 

And then Klaus was angry, angrier then he'd ever been if his life, it felt like. The sheer fucking audacity, the absolute entitlement, of this entity invading his life and terrifying his family. Klaus? Klaus was used to it, had never known another life. But his siblings? It was a needless cruelty to expose them to yet another horror of the world, one that could upturn their lives in a split second, one with no regard for the living.

His body was numb, but rage was a living beast inside him. He gritted his teeth and pushed out at the man, anger lending his will physicality.

"Get. The fuck. Off of me." The words were hissed between bared teeth, his pupils pin-pricked. 

For a second, it seemed to work. The man's weight became lighter, and he appeared to need to struggle more fervently against Luther and Diego. But then, he brought one hand down in an arch, striking Klaus across the temple and wrenching his head to the side. Klaus tasted blood and his surroundings became hazy. The unnatural weight of the man returned, like he was trying to push Klaus through the floorboards. Absurdly, Klaus envisioned that man was trying to push him into the ground, trying to take Klaus back through the veil with him.

And then, there was roar and a flash of white light. Dimly, Klaus felt the floor undulate beneath him, and a split second later, the specter atop him had disintegrated back into the ether. Air rushed back into his lungs. There was a pause where the only sound Klaus could hear was the collective breath-catching of both himself and his siblings. Then, the thud of Vanya falling to her knees. It took a moment for Klaus to piece it all together.

"Vanya," he croaked out, trying to locate his sister's whereabouts. The full-body numbness had stolen his coordination. Then she was suddenly in his line of vision, crawling on her hands and knees and collapsing down beside him. Her face was pale and exhausted, but her eyes were bright and present.

"You look terrible," Klaus informed her between breaths, playing the part of good brother. She huffed out a weak laugh and lay one trembling hand down on Klaus's forehead. It was scorching, and Klaus tried to jerk back. And then his whole body was shuddering uncontrollably. Over the deafening chatter of his teeth, he could hear Vanya shout, "He's freezing!"

"A bath- get him into water," Five was ordering with surprising authority. "I'll go run the taps." Then, he popped out of the kitchen and presumably up to one of their nineteen bathrooms. Before Klaus could protest, Diego was scooping him up bridal style, which he rather enjoyed and made mental note to file the memory.

The sensation of being submerged into warm water was, at first, agonizing, and he fought weakly against Diego as his brother lowered him in fully clothed.

"It's okay, it's okay," his brother was muttering, his tone like he was trying to calm a frenzied animal. It pissed Klaus off immediately.

"No fuckface, it's not okay," Klaus wheezed out. He wasn't sure how discernible the words were, as the muscles of his face and lips were still numb.

For several minutes, Klaus simply existed between the competing sensations of full-body quaking and scorching water, until his nerves were recovered enough for the bath to feel pleasantly warm to his frozen core. Beside him, Diego continued to kneel outside of the tub. Klaus realized that, at some point, he'd clutched one of his brother's wrists and had never let go.

In the doorway, he could see his siblings as they paced in the hallway, a head popping in every so often to inquire about Klaus's status. Alison entered with a mug of tea and a change of clothing, and Klaus snorted at the domesticity of it all.

"It's like I'm in a spa," he told her, waggling his eyebrows and accepting the mug with tepid hands. 

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

Klaus instantly recognized the situation for what is was: an outlet for Alison's underutilized maternal instincts. He decided he'd try to push it. He adopted a woebegone expression and coughed weakly for effect. 

"I'd feel better with a massage." He looked at her from under his eyelashes. No dice.

Alison snorted and crossed her arms, calling out towards the hallway, "He's gonna be fine, he's asking for a massage." Klaus heard a few low groans, and then the sound of his siblings dispersing back to their rooms. She turned to Diego.

"You got him?"

"I got him," Diego confirmed, and Klaus could hear his brother rolling his eyes at him. How rude. Alison left the bathroom.

After a moment of silence, Diego cleared his throat.

"Are they always like that? I mean, even when we were kids?"

Klaus contemplated his response.

"The physical touching is new- usually only Ben can get to that point. But yeah, the smell, the chill, the…" Klaus reached for a word, "-comments- that's all pretty standard. I think it feels good for them to be around me. Like, they feel more alive, or something? I'm not sure, Ben told me something like that once, but my frame of mind was, uh… compromised."

"Huh." And then: "Where is Ben? Why wasn't he there?" It was a question that Klaus was also asking himself. 

"Dunno." Klaus shook his head. "He usually pops in and out. He'll find his way back, eventually."

"Huh."

"Di. Can I, uh." Klaus sighed, and then threw caution to the wind. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?" As soon as he said the words he regretted them. He rushed to explain himself. "This is really- I mean, tonight was new, and like, I don't know if another one will show up? Or maybe the same guy again?" Although, Klaus had a feeling he wouldn't sleep no matter where he lay his head down tonight.

"Uh yeah, sure thing. I got you." Diego's expression suggested that he didn't, in fact, 'have Klaus,' but Klaus knew not to push a good thing.

"Thanks."

There was a gentle knock at the doorframe. It was Luther and Five.

"We should talk about the, uh, incident that just happened." Luther was trying to be gentle with his words, but he didn't have much in the way of tact.

"That was a fucking fiasco, Klaus." Five always could be trusted to say it how it was. Luther elbowed him.

"What I meant was, maybe we can brainstorm ways to help you figure this all out," Five revised, Luther nodding at his side.

"I was thinking of maybe going through Dad's notes, seeing if there's anything from your files that could be helpful- if you're okay with that." Klaus suspected that Luther had, in fact, already started the process, but he appreciated that Luther was getting his consent. Even if it was after the fact.

"This all sounds like a fucking riot. Can we return to this in the morning?" Klaus was so exhausted that he felt it in his bones.

Five looked like he was going to protest, but Luther stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. Klaus could almost see Five's tiny brain at work, delighted by the prospect of a new problem to solve.

"Tomorrow morning," Luther agreed.

Later, when he and Diego were getting ready for bed, his brother pointed to the side of mattress that was pressed up against the wall, indicating to Klaus where he was going to sleep. And then, to Klaus's absolute delight, Diego got in under the covers next to him. With the wall at his back and Diego a barrier between him and the outside world, sleep came to him like sweetest high, cradling his exhausted body in its warmth.


	2. Diego

Diego woke to the sounds of gentle murmuring. Even without opening his eyes, he could sense that it was just before dawn. Beyond his window, there were morning birds softly chirping away on the maple tree. Stomach down on the bed, Diego was almost lulled back to sleep, before movement beside him on the mattress had him lurching awake. With a sharp inhale, he pushed himself up onto his forearms, trying to gather his bearings through the warm haze of slumber.

Klaus was sitting up in bed, the long lines of his body in repose against the wall. His eyes were focused at a point behind Diego, whose sudden awakening caught his attention.

"Ben's back," he murmured with uncharacteristic solemnity. He gazed return to that spot and he nodded shortly and tilted his head. Diego looked around but could neither see nor hear their brother. However, there was a slight blur in the middle of the room where Klaus's attention was directed. At first, Diego thought it was something floating on his cornea, but it maintained its position even when he glanced from side to side.

"Hey Ben," he sighed. "Missed you earlier, buddy. Klaus, did you tell him about last night's festivities?" Klaus immediately kneed Diego's flank.

"Jesus, what the fuck?" Diego huffed, but Klaus's focus was already back on Ben. Or at least, on the space that Ben was probably occupying.

"Yeah, no, I'll tell you all about it later- huh? No, a massive orgy. Seriously, right in middle of the living room. Wha- come on, have I ever lied to you?"

Diego groaned and planted his face into his pillow. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could smother himself.

"Well fine then, bye!" Klaus hissed indignantly, and threw himself backwards onto the bed.

Diego shifted onto his side, shoving his pillow under his neck. Klaus stared up at the ceiling, which was still peppered with glow-in-the-dark stars from their childhood.

"Klaus." It was said with the kind of firm authority that he knew Klaus would capitulate to.

"Ben thinks I stuck myself. He was forced out suddenly and couldn't get back."

"He thought you were high?" Diego frowned and then compulsively asked, "Were you?" He regretted the question as soon as he asked it, but years of Klaus's empty promises to get sober had planted the seed of weariness and doubt in all of his siblings. It would take a while before Klaus could be taken at his word.

Still, his brother's expression collapsed into one of offense and outrage, and Diego quickly moved to place a heavy hand on his brother's chest, holding him down.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," Diego gritted out, "I know you're clean. I know."

"Go fuck yourself," Klaus drawled out, but it was without bite. He reached up to rub at his eyes. "Jesus, I'm so wound up. You know that feeling in your balls when you haven't come in while? It's like that, but just, full fucking body."

"Klaus, I cannot stress this enough, do not say shit like that when we're lying in the same bed."

"But do you know the feeling I'm talking about?" Klaus turned to face his brother, pushing himself up onto one elbow. His eyes were more alert now, the beginnings of a grin at one corner of his mouth. Diego sighed internally. Klaus was at his most motivated when he found a new way to antagonize one of his siblings.

"Stop." Predictably, Klaus ignored him.

"Full body blue balls, Diego. I swear, I haven't felt like this since I was fourteen."

"Why don't you go out and pull then?" Diego asked the obligatory question, but he didn't really want to hear the answer.

"I was going to, believe me." Klaus chuckled lowly. "But I don't really trust myself in a bar right now. I mean, you're hard up, right Diego? How do you stay so zen?"

Diego shut his eyes and prayed for patience.

"Training. Fighting." Diego frowned and further contemplated his response. "The throwing, mainly, I think. Makes me feel in control. When my knife hits the target just right," he made a vague throwing gesture, "feels like heaven."

He heard Klaus swallow in the reflective silence that followed.

"Maybe you should come train with me." The suggestion went against every shred of Diego's better judgement. "Couldn't hurt."

This time, Klaus scoffed. "Diego, I'm not cut out for hand-to-hand. Look at me," He gestured down the length of his prone body. "I'm a fey and waifish style icon. I'm too clever to get down and dirty."

"Okay, now you're pissing me off."

"Aha! Not so zen after all. See, not everything can be solved with violence, Diego." Klaus had adopted a tone of pseudo-intellectualism that, Diego suspected, Klaus knew would piss him off.

"No," he agreed. "Just most things."

"Spoken like a fighter, not a lover."

"We're not talking about me."

"Aren't we?"

Diego suddenly knew what this was. With a surprising amount of alacrity for the hour of the morning, he rolled himself on top of Klaus, clamping one hand over his brother's mouth when he gasped in surprise.

"Klaus, Klaus, Klaus." He cooed down, "if you wanted a fight so badly, all you had to do was ask."

Klaus's eyes narrowed in contempt, but his cheeks flushed pink at his brother's words. Years of sibling rivalry gave Diego keen insight into this expression: Klaus knew he'd been caught, and now that he no longer had the upper hand, was angry. He tried to buck Diego off, bringing his hands up to push at his chest. Instead, Diego caught them both at the wrist with ease and held them down by his ears. Diego couldn't help himself. He fed into it.

"You're so, so clever Klaus," he whispered with overt facetiousness, perversely enjoying the way Klaus struggled beneath him.

"Fuck you, Diego," Klaus hissed up at him. But he didn't tell Diego to stop.

For the span of a minute or so, Diego continued to hold his brother in place as he bucked against him, biting out obscenities and insults. And then Klaus went limp and breathless, evidently having thrown in the towel.

"Feeling better?" Diego could feel the smug grin stretched across his own face, but he was powerless to stop it.

"Drop dead," Klaus whispered, but his eyes were a touch lidded, and he tipped his head back to clear his throat, exposing his neck like a particularly satisfied feline. Diego rolled off with alarming quickness.

Dawn was beginning to climb the walls of his room. "Training," Diego announced, clambering out of bed and towards his dresser drawers. Behind him, he could hear Klaus yawning and turning over on the mattress.

"Don't care," he mumbled.

"No shit. See you at breakfast."

"Mm."

When Diego turned around, Klaus was sprawled, stomach down, across the mattress, his arms around Diego's pillow, looking dead to the world.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

When Diego came down to breakfast, freshly showered and ready to greet the day, he was met with the incomprehensible cacophony of Five, Klaus, Vanya, and the half-formed image of Ben screaming at each other from four separate corners of the kitchen table.

He briefly considered turning around and going back to bed.

"This needs to be fucking dealt with, Klaus! It's going to interfere with my work!" Five was gesturing at him sharply with his forefinger, and Diego noticed dark rings sagging from his eyes.

"Oh come on, Five." Klaus was laughing. "You don't work! You're just jumping around terrorizing your ex-coworkers because you're bored as shit!"

"Klaus, knock it off. That's not going to help." That was Vanya, who had both arms crossed on her chest, eyebrows knit in concern.

"Why the fuck not? He gets free reign to be an asshole just because he's going through puberty- again?"

"Good morning," Diego announced, before Five turned his seething expression on him.

"And fuck you too, Diego!"

Diego held up both hands in surrender. "Someone catch me up?"

"Five woke up to a ghost in his room and then locked himself in the bathroom for the rest of the night." Ben was the very picture of poise and indifference, choosing to examine his translucent fingernails rather than engage the debacle.

"Why didn't you just jump to another part of the house?" Diego was perplexed. It wasn't like Five to react to anything with such emphatic apprehension.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know where it was going to be, huh? That- thing- last night was an abomination. It defied the fucking laws of mass and physics." Five paused to down a cup of coffee that Vanya handed to him, clearly in the hopes of calming him down.

"Well, I mean, so does Vanya…" Diego reasoned.

"Yes, but Vanya is a known quantity," Five spoke like he trying to explain himself to a room of imbeciles. "Her motivations are clear, predictable. We don't even know how that fucking thing even manifested itself. Am I the only one that sees this as a massive fucking issue?"

"Now-," Klaus cut in, his tone overly blasé. "Have we- and I'm going to need you all to stick with me here- considered that this house may be built on an ancient Native American burial ground?" Diego could tell that Klaus was getting scared.

"Ancient Native Americans didn't wear bell bottoms, you absolute dipshit." Five had calmed a fraction now that some caffeine was in him.

"And thank god for that. Talk about a critical misstep in the history of pop fashion, am I right?"

Instead of answering, Five proceeded to grab the entirely-full pot from the coffee maker and blink right out of the room.

In the ensuing silence, Vanya cleared her throat. "Five is right, you know."

"You mean about the bell bottoms? Obviously I knew that, Vanya."

"Wait, is that thing still in the house?" Diego interjected.

Vanya shook her head. "Five said it vanished around dawn."

Immediately, Diego met Klaus's gaze across the kitchen. Before anything more could be said, their mother was gliding into the kitchen, her immaculately pressed skirt flouncing with each step.

"You're up!" She chirped. "Let me make you all some breakfast."

Shortly thereafter, Luther and Alison came down. Together. Diego shuddered. It wasn't the fact that they were siblings. Somehow, of all things, the tacit incestuous nature of their relationship was not the bothersome aspect. It was simply the fact that it was Luther and Alison, the two people in the world most likely to drive Diego up the wall.

"Morning," Luther grumbled, dropping down into an empty chair. It creaked under his weight. "You okay, Klaus?"

"Good morrow, brother. Just swimmingly, thanks. And how did you sleep?" Klaus's tone was all theatrics, but Diego could see his fingers tapping nervously under the table.

Luther frowned, glass of orange juice halfway to his lips. "Fine. Why. What happened."

"What! Noth-" Diego cut him off.

"That brainstorming you mentioned last night? We're gonna need to get on that sooner rather than later." 

Alison slid into the seat next to Luther, her gaze flitting intently between Klaus and Diego. Absurdly, Diego had the brief fear that maybe she could read his mind. Both of his sisters had always been able to read their brothers pretty well, although Alison more accurately than Vanya.

"Okay," she acquiesced diplomatically.

And then, just to stir the pot, Ben added, "Everything is totally fine, and absolutely nothing whatsoever has gone wrong since last night." Then he got up from the table and departed from the kitchen with a jaunty wave of his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are king, y'all.


	3. Klaus

It was 2:30 in the afternoon by the time Luther had wrangled every Hargreeves sibling into the living room. Klaus was sat smack dab in the middle of the couch, with everyone standing in a semi-circle in front of him. He felt like he was on trial. That, or that he was a particularly exotic animal at the zoo. Five sat immediately to his left, notepad perched on his knees like he was ready to take notes. Klaus reached out and slapped it out of his hands.

After an extended, palpably awkward silence, during which Klaus twiddled his thumbs and refused to make eye contact with anyone, Luther cleared his throat.

"Alright. Well. Let's, um, start with what we know."

"Yes," interjected Five, like he couldn't possibly wait another second to get his two cents in. "Now. I think this all comes down to how these-" Five waved a hand in the air, "-ghosts manifest themselves in the physical world. Previously, they've only been able utilize sound and light waves to contact you, right Klaus?"

"I, um, what?" Klaus shook his head. This was already beyond him. "I don't-"

"When you're sober- when we were kids," Five revised, "- you could only see and hear them, correct?" His brother had taken control of the narrative with the force of a juggernaut, and it left Klaus adrift in confusion.

"Yes? I mean- yeah."

"Right. But, they couldn't touch you?"

"No, not then. Just lately- and really only Ben."

Everyone turned to Ben, who nodded as if to confirm Klaus's statement.

"Ben," Luther began, waving off Five when he protested the disruption. "Do you have any sense of how you were able to, you know, become solid?"

Ben shook his head. "Wasn't me, it was Klaus."

"Yes, but Klaus is just a conduit- a pathway between us and the dead." Five gritted out. "We're trying to figure out how that ghost ascribed mass to himself- beyond the matter of light."

"Wait," That was Alison. "What about the smell? And remember how it became freezing all of the sudden?"

Five frowned like he hadn't considered those aspects.

"And that wasn't just mass," and now Diego had jumped in. "A guy that size should never have been able to weigh that much. Luther and I, together, couldn't make him budge. That's not normal, Five."

Luther pointed to Diego, nodding his head in agreement.

Five shook his head again and plowed onwards, "Look, Vanya, you said that you got rid of it by using your vibrations to disperse the mass where it was located, right?"

"What in the fuck does that mean?" Diego sounded frustrated, throwing both hands in the air.

"Okay, wait, just- wait." Vanya's soft voice was unusually commanding, which worked to shut everyone immediately. She turned to him.

"Klaus, we know that you don't know how last night happened. But what about when you actually mean to call a spirit? How do you go about doing that?"

Klaus laughed, and it was a desperate, bitter sound. "I don't know, sister dear. That's why we're in this situation to begin with."

Vanya didn't take the bait. "Okay," she continued, her stance and tone the epitome of calm rationality. "Well then, how do you feel? When Dad used to put you in the mausoleum-"

"I'm sorry, what?" Alison interrupted from beside Vanya.

"What could you see?" Vanya continued. "Or hear? Besides being scared, what else was there?"

Klaus could feel himself frowning. Come to think of it, he wasn't sure if he'd ever been asked the question. He closed his eyes, rubbed his face with his palms, and tried to put himself back into those childhood nightmares.

"Um, they just sort of came at me. There was screaming, lots of angry faces." He shook his head and his body curled up, as if trying to protect him from the memories.

"Immediately?" That was Diego. "Or was there anything before they showed up?"

Klaus inhaled deeply, eyes still shut. "A chill. Really, really cold. The smell of soil?" And something else, he realized, and fought to articulate the words. "A sound. Sort of like- walking towards a room full of people whispering."

"Whispering anything in particular?" Alison asked gently.

"Nuh-uh," Klaus shook his head. "Just like, starting far away, and then getting louder. I think maybe that's what that world sounds like."

Suddenly, Five made a sharp, strangled noise and Ben yelped.

Klaus's body jerked back to the present and he followed Ben's concerned gaze. Fuck. There was a new one, standing absently by the empty bar. This time, it was a she, her pleated sundress splashed brown with old blood, one leg wrenched an unnatural angle at the knee. As soon as she made eye contact with Klaus, she began hobbling towards him, dragging the injured leg behind her.

Klaus scrambled backwards over the couch. "Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck."

"Vanya!" Luther yelled, voice pitched higher with fear.

"I'm trying, I'm trying! I need sound, I can't work with nothing!" she was looking around herself frantically.

"I got you," Diego affirmed, hopping over the back of a couch and sprinting to the baby-grand in the back of the hall. With zero finesse, he key-smashed up and down the piano. The air throughout the room began to shimmer and undulate, and there was a tinkling as the chandelier started to tremble and oscillate.

Klaus could hear Vanya taking deep breaths, clearly trying to keep her emotional state under wraps. Meanwhile, the specter continued to jerk its way towards him.

"Vanya...?" Five asked, his tone caustic with impatience.

"Five, shut up and let her concentrate!" Alison shouted, her own body coiled to leap into action.

White energy curled around Vanya's torso and then radiated outwards in an arch. The dead women flickered out like a flame, the atoms composing her physical form having been forcefully dispersed from one another.

There was a tense, silent minute before a collective sigh of relief. Vanya stumbled into a nearby chair, breathing heavily. Luther lumbered over, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder, as if to congratulate her on a job well done. Klaus felt a bitter resentment at the gesture.

Here he was, thirty years old, his family still cleaning up his messes. The thought made him despondent, and behind that, there was the bitter awareness that he was even more of a burden sober than high. The feeling was ugly and hopeless, and he briefly calculated the distance to the closest bar from the academy.

"So, what's this about a mausoleum?" Alison asked hoarsely, returning to her previous question. "Klaus?"

The thought of engaging this further was insurmountable to Klaus. He pushed back against the idea with a desperation he hadn't felt since he was mid-withdrawl.

"No." Klaus bit out, anguished. "I think we're done for the day." 

"Klaus," Luther started gently, "I know this is hard- and scary. But you- we- need to get this under control." He was nodding, as if urging Klaus to agree.

"This isn't something I can control!" The words burst from Klaus in a gasping sob, his voice cracking halfway through. "This is something that happens to me." He finished in a whisper. 

He felt mortified, and so, in response, turned away from his family, who were looking at him with pity and worry, and walked out of the room. In his wake, there was an explosion of whispers and hissing as his siblings all turned on one another.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Later, Alison and Diego found Klaus in one of the attics, curled up by the window, a small pile of ash and cigarette butts on the sill, and an arrangement of tarot cards before him. Surrounding him were stacks of weathered trunks and various Hargreeves antiques. Ben was nearby, leaning on the flat plane of a 20th century oil painting that was propped up at an angle. The give of the canvas acted like a sort of hammock, and he was fully immersed in a novel.

Klaus sighed when he heard them coming up. "No need to worry. I'm not getting high." 

He hoped this would be enough to make them turn around. No such luck. They maneuvered themselves forward until they were both crossed legged on the floor with him. Alison reached for the packet of cigarettes on the window sill and helped herself to one.

"Remember how we used to do this?" Klaus asked, eyebrows waggled as he exhaled a lungful of smoke.

"Yeah. We were so cool back then," Alison chuckled.

"Back then? Speak for yourself. I've never stopped being the cool one in his family." The words were in contradiction with the way Klaus sighed down at the spread cards.

"Nah," Diego was shaking his head down at where Klaus was idly tapping one finger on a reversed seven of wands. "See, this is what happens when you leave everything up to chance." He leaned forward to gather the spread cards with one hand, grabbing the stack with the other.

"I'm gonna do a reading for you, Klaus. My style." He tapped the stack on the ground to straighten them, before bringing them, image forward, to his chest. "All right, let's see here." One by one, he thumbed through the cards, flipping one out every so often.

"Here," Diego said, sliding one card in front of Klaus. "Your past." It was The Devil. Klaus scoffed, but continued to watch Diego's hands. He had such dexterous, toned hands.

"Present," he slid another card next to the first. The Tower.

"Annnnd future." The Chariot. Klaus's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Diego!" Alison exclaimed with delight. "How'd you learn this?"

"Raoul," he replied with a half-grin.

"Ah, yes. The brujo."

"Uh, forgive me," Klaus cut in. "Who the fuck is Raoul?" 

"The guy Diego was hooking up with when we were- what? Nineteen?" 

Diego's eyes widened, and Klaus felt his world flip one-eighty degrees, and then one-eighty degrees again.

"I, uhhh, didn't realize you knew about that," Diego admitted to Alison.

Alison snorted. "Oh honey," She put a hand on her brother's shoulder with an expression akin to pity. "You really thought you were being sneaky?"

Diego seemed to bristle. "I wasn't sneaking around! I know it's difficult you to understand that I want some parts of my life to remain private!"

"Wait. Just. Fucking wait," Klaus was clearly struggling with this information. "Are you telling me that, this whole fucking time, I haven't been the only resident queer?!"

There was an abrupt silence in the attic.

"…You never told him?" That was Alison, directed at Diego.

"It never- when was I supposed to just bring up being bi?" Diego shouted back indignantly.

Klaus answered for her. "Literally anytime in past- what- twelve years?" He turned to Ben. "Ben, are you hearing this? Did you know about this? Why didn't I know about this?"

Ben shrugged like this was the last thing in the world he cared about. "I mean, yeah, I guess. And because you've been high for sixteen years." He returned to his book.

"Un-fucking-believable" Klaus muttered. He waggled a finger between himself and Diego. "You and me? We're about to have a talk, brother." He punctuated this by stamping out his cigarette directly onto the floor.

Diego looked nervous. Good. This news was equal parts everything Klaus had ever wanted to hear, as well as the one thing he dreaded ever happening. 

"Buussted," Alison tone was alight with glee. She crushed the last bit of her cigarette out next to Klaus's. "Come on, Ben!" She called over one shoulder as she disappeared down the stairs.

"No shit," Ben responded, gliding after her without ever once looking up from his novel, leaving Klaus and Diego alone in the attic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was pretty dialogue-heavy. I like the idea that nothing important can be achieved without devolving into in-family fighting. It may seem like Diego's sexuality comes out of the blue here, but it's based on my other story, King of Carrot Flowers, which was set when they were younger.


	4. Diego

"What the actual fuck, Di?" Klaus's arms were crossed and Diego suddenly understood that his brother meant business. This was a nightmare from which Diego couldn't wake.

Here's the thing. Leaving Klaus in the dark about Diego's sexual orientation had been a calculated, intentional undertaking since he was eighteen. As teenagers, he'd watched Klaus flit from partner to partner, from one drug-fueled sexcapade to the next, like some sort of particle desperate to self-destruct. He'd seen Klaus coming home from parties, days-deep MIA, mauled with hickeys courtesy of men whom his brother had already forgotten by the time he was coming down. He'd seen how, after particularly nasty fights with their father, Klaus would walk out of the academy and throw himself into the arms of the nearest available warm body. 

And Diego knew that, in a moment of desperation, or if Klaus was bereft of any other option, if he turned his eyes on Diego? Without a shadow of doubt, he'd never be able to say no to his brother. That was thing about Klaus. His chaos was irresistible- a walking, talking, decaying radical, all wrapped up in the prettiest face. The thought of becoming one of those men that Klaus would collide with, and immediately thereafter forget, was unbearable to Diego.

And although Klaus had, more or less, out-grown those behaviors, the instinct to maintain that critical boundary was still very much alive for Diego. If he thought about it for too long, the magnitude of his wanting was uncontainable. Best to just build a wall around it and call it a day.

"Klaus, it wasn't that I was keeping it from you-" Lies, all lies. "It just never came up." Diego was struggling to make himself believe it, and judging by the Klaus's expression, so was he. His brother swallowed and scratched at one forearm self-consciously.

"Di," it came out quietly, and, oh shit, this was bad, Diego realized. "Why didn't you feel like you could tell me? I mean, I know I can be kind of a lot sometimes- most times-," here, Klaus's tone shifted from one of betrayed accusation to one of self-deprecation. "Well, yeah, I guess I can see how it wouldn't have been worth it to tell me-"

Oh no. This was worse. Diego started shaking his head.

"Klaus, Klaus, no. That's not- no."

"Diego- it's fine, I get it, really." It was as though Diego could see Klaus forcing himself not to care. His tone became lofty and disengaged. "I mean, in terms of queer disasters, I'm a hard act to follow. You had to find your own shtick, I get it. Now-"

Diego knew what was coming. Klaus was in full armor now.

"Tell me about dear, sweet Raoul." Classic deflection. Diego was going to have to wait for Klaus to retreat a little before he could fix this.

Diego sighed, and resigned himself to settling in for the long haul.

"Not that much to tell. He was a hostage at one of the abortion clinic fiascos. Shooter used him as a mediator for negotiations. We went for coffee after it all wrapped up."

"Boring Diego, so boring. Did you, or did you not, fuck? And follow up: who bottomed?" Diego had the sense Klaus was trying to rile him up again and so decided to take the upper hand.

"Yes, Klaus, we fucked. And who do you think bottomed?" The question was posed as a genuine one.

"Mmmm not you, I'd wager. You're never happier than when you have total control over a situation."

Diego snorted. "I guess that's true."

"Were you- did you love him?" Diego frowned and mentally compared how he'd felt with Raoul versus Eudora.

"Nuh uh. Eudora, yes. Raoul, eh." Diego shrugged. "We were nineteen."

Klaus frowned and began picking at the edge of his coat sleeve. "Do you want me to contact her? I mean, not now obviously, everything's shit- but after?"

Diego inhaled sharply, the suggestion jumpstarting a number of contradicting emotions.

"I'll get back to you on that one."

"Okay." Klaus nodded. "Have you been with any other guys? Hey- do you think we've slept with any of the same people?"

The thought was nauseating to Diego. For so many reasons.

"I seriously fucking doubt it. I think you and I go for fundamentally different types of men."

Klaus snickered. "What, like how you always tell me that I go for assholes? How kind of you to harp on my taste in men right now."

"Wha- no. I meant, you look for someone who will take the reins from you. You've said it yourself- you feel safest when someone else is holding your options."

Klaus groaned and tossed his head back. "It's so truuueee. Christ, just functioning in the day-to-day world is such a bummer. Now that I'm clean, everyday feels like fifteen fucking years," he whined.  
Diego rolled his eyes, but Klaus continued.

"Hey, do you think if we hadn't been raised in this dumpster fire, like we were just two dudes in the city, we would've fucked? You ever think about that?"

The comment was like a swift jab to the solar plexus, and Diego choked on a bit of spit. "'Two dudes in the city?'" Diego parroted back incredulously. It was said to buy himself time.

"Well yeah- slim, androgynous bohemian type and built, brooding hero?" Klaus gasped and his eyes went wide and faraway. "Dear god, our children would have been so beautiful." 

"I don't brood!"

"Please, Diego! You can lie to yourself, but don't lie to me. You're basically the batman of this family."

Diego sighed and shook his head. He glanced down at where their crossed legs were touching at the knees. This was going off the rails.

"Yes." He interjected firmly. "I have thought about it."

Klaus was stunned into momentary silence. "Oh." His eyes were wide, like he'd never expected that answer from Diego. In fairness, Diego himself was wondering what kind of stroke would have compelled him to admit that out loud.

"Yeah. I guess I have, too." Klaus's admission was hesitant, like he couldn't figure out which tone to strike. He avoided Diego's gaze in favor of the tree just outside the attic window.

Diego was confused. Klaus hadn't even known about him until today- oh. The realization that his brother may have felt likewise, perhaps for years, was electrifying. It made him brazen, and he knew he'd have to be the one to make the next move. When it came to real, emotional stakes, Klaus had never been the brave one.

"It used to drive me crazy, actually. Towards the end- right before you left." Diego conceded.

Those green eyes snapped back to him like a rubber band.

"You've always been so -magnetic," Diego was rubbing his face with his hands. "And fucking infuriating. I could never tell which way I wanted to get my hands on you."

Klaus chuckled, but there was sadness about it. "Doesn't matter. Would've let you do anything. I still would," and he looked like he hated himself for the admission.

Diego groaned and leaned his head against the trunk at his back. "Jesus, Klaus, you can't just say shit like that. It drives me up the wall."

"Mm," Klaus's grin turned wicked. "In a good way?" 

Klaus's expression stole Diego's words momentarily. The words were uttered so sweetly, but the eyes were all-knowing. Every line of his body language promised sensuality, and Diego suspected that Klaus knew it. Those teasing lips were a siren's call, churning up electricity in his gut. Diego wasn't entirely sure if it was an invitation, but he didn't particularly care. He was going to take it as one anyways.

In one fluid motion, he'd shifted close enough so that, when he cradled Klaus's long neck and pull him forward, it wasn't at a painful angle. Klaus gasped in clear surprise.

"Very," Diego responded to Klaus's earlier question, and then leaned forward to catch his lower lip between his own. 

The response was immediate. Klaus's lips yielded to Diego's readily, his hands gripping Diego's shoulders, then sliding their way up into his hair. To shift the balance, Diego wrapped one arm around Klaus's waist, pulling him up and into his lap effortlessly. Without breaking the kiss, Klaus reached behind himself to shuck his coat off, Diego pulling the fabric at the back to help the process along. Coat off, Klaus moved back in, his hands at the back of Diego's neck, shifting himself so that they pressed together at the hips. 

They moved together seamlessly. Years of combat training with one another manifested itself in a novel manner. When Klaus retreated, Diego gained ground. When Diego leaned back, Klaus pressed forwards. It was the kind of wordless push-and-pull afforded by knowledge of your opponent's body, their tendencies in motion, the manner in which they carry their weight. 

Diego fisted one hand in Klaus's hair and pulled his head back, mouthing at the long lines of his throat. The whine Klaus made in response was truly devastating, the sweetness of it making Diego light-headed. 

And then, because no one in this family could have anything nice without another member interfering, there was a pop and the sound of Five yelping.

Klaus scrambled backwards off of Diego's lap, wiping his mouth and making horrified eye contact with him. Uncharacteristically, Diego felt like a trapped animal, absolutely frozen where he sat.

"Heeeey," Klaus began, and it was directed at Five, who had one hand covering his eyes.

"Jesus, I don't care. If you try to explain this right now, I will end both of you."

"Fair enough," Klaus croaked out.

"An executive decision has been made. We're all sleeping in the living room tonight. I refuse to have a repeat of last night."

"You mean like a slumber party?" Klaus sounded like he was coming around to this turn of events.

"No asshole. Not like a slumber party. We'll be awake in shifts. This is going to be dealt with."

The sheer, bordering manic, adamancy with which Five spoke made Diego realize something: Five had found his new apocalypse. That, and he wasn't going to leave Diego and Klaus alone to continue what they'd started. Diego hauled himself up to a standing position, holding a hand out towards Klaus to help him do the same.

"Alright, alright. Lead the way maestro."

And the three of them left the attic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of Five disguising a slumber party as a tactical mission so that he can get some sleep.


	5. Klaus

In the living room, all of the priceless, upholstered furniture had been shoved up against the walls. In the middle of the room, on the ornate Persian rug, was a circle of seven sleeping bags, all with their tops to the middle, bottoms radiating outwards. In the middle of the arrangement, sat like some idol of worship, was the coffee maker. Three extension cords were needed to connect it to a wall outlet.

Vanya and Ben were already seated on adjacent sleeping bags. Ben's nose was still in his book, and Vanya was annotating sheet music on her lap. Beside her, Alison and Luther's places had been staked, as indicated by the glossy magazines and juices pouches, respectively. The two in question were nowhere to be seen, however. 

Only Vanya glanced up as Diego, Klaus and Five entered the room. "Welcome to the party," she greeted dryly.

Five bee-lined for the coffee machine. Klaus felt a tug on the bottom hem of his shirt, knuckles skating his abdomen. Diego was covertly pulling him towards the adjacent bags next to Ben. Klaus grinned and raised his eyebrows, following his brother's lead. As they sat, Klaus caught Five's gaze, his brother clearly issuing a silent warning with his expression. Klaus held up both hands in surrender. Beside him, Diego was working to pull knife after knife out of god-knows-how-many pockets in his attire. He lined each one up on the rug at the top of the sleeping bag.

Klaus glanced over at Vanya. "Whatcha working on?"

"Mendelssohn. You gonna come see me?" Her voice dared Klaus to say no.

"Depends. You gonna give us your comp tickets?" Klaus replied in kind.

Vanya smiled. "Always." 

"Good. I have this outfit I've been wanting to wear out to fancy occasions. How well do you think a Jacobian ruff would go over with your lot?"

"Oh, superbly," Vanya quipped back. Ben snorted next to her.

Luther and Alison entered the room, followed by their mother, who was carrying a large platter of triangle sandwiches. Immediately, Diego was up and at her side to help.

The seven of them settled down, crossed legged on their sleeping bags, eating sandwiches with the crusts cut off. Klaus thought that maybe summer camp was like this. He couldn't be sure though- Did they make summer camps for thirty-year-olds? Well, six thirty-year-olds and a fifty-eight-year-old.

Later, when the windows had gone dark with the evening, Luther cleared his throat.

"Alright, so we'll stand watch in three-hour shifts- ten to seven. First Five and Ben, then Alison and me, then Diego and Klaus." Klaus saw Five twitch out of the corner of his eye. Luther continued. "Vanya doesn't take a shift. We need her rested if anything shows up.

"No." Five's voice was firm. "We need to be paying attention to our surroundings. Take note if the temperature changes, anything moves- there's a pattern and we're going to find it. It should be Klaus and me, Luther and Ben, then Diego and Alison."

Klaus cackled. "Aww Five, just admit it. You're scared of ghosts. This whole thing," he gestured around them in circle, "is just a charade so you can get some sleep-"

"I found Klaus and Diego making out in the attic earlier," Five cut him off in retaliation.

"Hey!" and "What the fuck, Five?" Klaus and Diego shouted simultaneously.

"Wow, really?" That was Ben, who'd finally deigned to shift attention away from his novel. He sounded exceedingly unimpressed. "Diego, you can do so much better."

"Rude! So rude, Ben!" Klaus squawked indignantly.

"Next time, don't ignore me when I ask you to turn a page." Ben drawled back.

"Oh yeah, throw that in my face. You know, you hold a grudge longer than anyone I know."

"It was only yesterday, Klaus." Ben was already back to reading.

"Uh, is this, like, okay?" Luther was wide eyed, and clearly out of his depth emotionally.

"What?" Klaus replied. "Oh yeah, it's fine, Ben and I are just in a fight because he couldn't make contact with his book yesterday, and I wouldn't turn the pages for him."

"No, I meant-" Luther gestured between Diego and Klaus.

"Mind your own business, Luther," growled Diego.

Luther held his hands up in surrender. "It's just- come on! This is shocking, right? Am I the only one surprised?" He looked around at his siblings expectantly.

"Surprised something actually came of it, more like," Alison snorted out. Beside her, Vanya was nodding her head in agreement.

"What?" That was Klaus, Diego, and Luther together.

Alison was shaking her head. "You two really thought you were slick back then, making eyes at each other when the other wasn't looking. Diego, honey, you used to get so upset over Klaus's boyfriends."

Diego bristled, pointing one finger at his sister. "How dare you."

Klaus reached out to push Diego's hand down.

"Shhhh, let her finish." Klaus thought that this was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to him.

Alison continued. "Klaus, remember how you used to dress up in mom's heel to get Diego's attention?"

Klaus panicked. "OKAY, well I think you've said everything you've needed to say, and fuck you very much, sister dear."

"Frankly, I thought you'd been hooking up for years," Vanya added. At Klaus's glare, she continued. "What? No one ever told me anything that was going on! I just assumed you weren't idiots."

"Savage, Vanya." Alison looked exceptionally proud of her sister.

"This could be potentially disastrous," Luther pointed out.

Klaus scoffed. "How bold of you, Number One, considering you and Alison." 

"Our entire family is potentially disastrous, Luther," Diego countered. "Despite all our best efforts, we always end up back together. I've given up fighting it."

"Hear, hear." That was Five, raising a cup of coffee in concurrence. 

"That's so sweet." Klaus had one hand on his heart.

There were a couple hours of blissful peace while each of them entertained themselves. Luther and Diego were playing rummy with a deck of ratty cards that Diego had found in one of the side tables. Vanya was listening to something classical on a Walkman, pausing it every so often to make notes on her sheet music. Ben, as per usual, was consumed by his book. Five was sketching out what appeared to be multi-variable lines of differential calculus, the absolute nerd. Klaus looked on at Alison's glossy magazines over her shoulder, the two of them commenting on red carpet fashion. At some point, their mother had returned with a stack of folded pajamas, which they took turns running into the hall to change into.

Unsurprisingly, Five was the one to break the peace.

"Ben, how long did it take before you could become corporeal again? How much effort did it take you?" His attention was on Ben's hands at the point where they made contact with the book.

Ben shook his head. "Again, it wasn't me. It was Klaus."

"Okay," Five was immediately frustrated. "But what does that mean?"

Ben shrugged. "It means I had nothing to do with it. Just happens when I'm around Klaus long enough."

Here, Vanya inserted herself softly. "What does that feel like? Being around Klaus? Is it the same as being around the rest of us?"

"No," Ben shook his head and looked like he was considering his answer. "Being around Klaus is like sitting in front of a fire after you've been frozen all the way through. The longer he's around, the more of your body you feel- the more you remember what it was like to have a body, really."

"Okay well, that explains why they keep coming after him," Alison chimed in. "But how is Klaus supposed to stop them from getting here? How can he control them?"

Again, Ben shrugged, and it was a helpless gesture.

"So, what? I'm just supposed to hold back the dead through sheer force of will?" Klaus asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I think so, maybe," Alison conceded. "You're like the barrier, you need to tamp down on the door."

Klaus didn't like her tone. "Okay, first of all. There's no 'door' between the living and dead. You belong in one state or you belong in the other. But both states are happening everywhere, all the time."

"Like time," Five chimed in, snapping his fingers. "Both states are happening, separately, at every point in space, across every point in time. You're essentially just a spot where those states collide- or can collide."

"Sounds brilliant. Just to reiterate, ghosts are trying to jump the barrier, through me- my body- at every point in space across every point in time, and I'm supposed to just, what? Tell them no?" Klaus forced the words to come out blasé, but his chest was tightening quickly. He felt very scared, and very alone.

"These are your powers, Klaus" Diego replied gently. "You have to take the reins here. There's no one available to take your options away."

Klaus sighed and curled into himself. He could feel himself detaching from his body. 

"It's so easy for you, Diego," his tone was flat and faraway. "You've always had all of your pieces together. Everything that makes you up is yours." Klaus swallowed before continuing shakily. "My powers- my body- they've never been mine. They were Dad's, then the dead's, then-," he chuckled sadly, "-everyone else's. And when I didn't belong to the dead, I belonged to the drugs." Klaus could feel himself shaking his head. Was he crying? "I'm not lying when I say that I don't know how to control this. I don't even know what that feels like."

There was a collective silence from all six of his siblings. Klaus thought about getting in touch with an old dealer.

"Okay," Then Diego was nodding and whispering like anything more would break him. "Okay." He reached out and cupped the back of Klaus's neck. "Let's lay down." As soon as Diego said the words, Klaus felt his body agree, like he suddenly couldn't keep his eyes open for one second longer. He nodded.

"Luther, Five- you said you'd take first watch?"

One of them must have nodded, because Klaus didn't hear any response. He let Diego push his body down to the sleeping bag until he was curled onto one side. Then, Diego lay down on his own bag, his own body curled to face Klaus's. Klaus had never seen Diego so soft. He must've looked really bad. Diego shifted forwards so that their foreheads were barely touching. Klaus tried to make brief eye contact, but the intensity he found there was too much.

Instead, he let himself drift aimlessly into the warmth of Diego's body, the smell of coffee, the sounds of pages turning and his siblings whispering amongst themselves.

\---------

When Klaus awoke, it was morning. He glanced around, thoroughly disoriented. Only Five and himself were still lying in the sleeping circle. Why had no one woken him up for his watch? He sat up slowly, working some blood into his stiff shoulders. A night on the floor did no favors for his already aching body. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes before heaving himself up into a standing position and trudging towards the kitchen.

As he approached it, he could hear the sounds of his siblings all chatting quietly. The moment he stepped into the room, they all hushed.

Fucking fantastic, he thought. Like he wasn't already mortified about last night.

He swallowed before speaking. "Did anything, um, show up last night? I guess I slept through the party…" He felt uncharacteristically shy.

"Actually no," Luther spoke up, taking a sip of his coffee. "We decided to let you and Five sleep through it.

It? Klaus narrowed his eyes.

"Are you… lying to me?"

Luther's eyes widened. "No! Klaus really, nothing happened- no ghosts showed up last night."

Alison swooped in. "We were just discussing different strategies to try and help you carry this burden. We let you sleep. You were- upset." She hedged at the end.

Vanya and Ben nodded. "It's true." Klaus's hackles lowered. He didn't think Vanya would lie to him. Not when she'd been lied to about her own powers for a lifetime.

There was a movement behind Klaus and he jumped. It was Diego, coming into the kitchen while holding a bag from Griddy's. Klaus shook his head- his nerves were wired. Last night's exhaustion-fueled emotional melt down had him wanting to run for the hills.

"You're up! Good. We're going to figure out how to make this better." When it came from Diego, Klaus believed it wholeheartedly. Diego put one hand at the small of his back and pushed him towards the table. Klaus sat down and a mug of coffee was immediately slid into his hands. Diego dropped into the chair next to him, reaching into the bag and pulling out a donut for him. Double chocolate. Klaus's favorite. The apprehension in his chest loosened.

"Should we wake Five?" he asked, biting into his pastry.

There was a collective groan around the table.

"Do NOT go wake that fucker right now," Diego said through a mouth full of donut. "He was fucking insufferable after you went to sleep last night."

Luther groaned in agreement. "You made a time analogy and then went to bed, Klaus. You left us with that." 

Klaus grinned, feeling light and safe. It'd been a long time since there had been anyone to catch him after he fell.


	6. Klaus/Diego

Interpersonal cooperation within the Hargreeves household had never been sustainable, and things were back to status quo by the following morning, when Diego tried to throw down with Luther over the last waffle. It didn't bother Klaus all that much- he was still riding the high of waking up little spoon to Diego, his early morning hard-on pressed perfectly against Klaus's ass. Klaus himself was dying to get fucked, but Diego refused to capitulate because it was 'fun to watch Klaus beg.' The absolute sadistic prick.

Klaus filled his morning tapping out tunes on the baby-grand, taking note of the geometric shape of his hands as they pieced together chords. It was mind-numbingly boring, but it wasn't a cigarette, and he desperately needed something to occupy his twitching hands. 

By the early afternoon, Klaus hadn't heard an utterance from any of his six siblings, which, in retrospect, should have been the first warning sign. He slowly meandered into their rooms, entering each without knocking, and still not finding a soul. Aimlessly, he searched the house, finally finding them in their father's study, all huddled around his desk. He frowned.

"Heeeyy," he started hesitantly. Maybe this was some sort of support group for non-addicts. Like NA, but the exact opposite.

Alison spun around. "Klaus!" Her tone was pleasant enough, but her smile looked distressed.

"How come I'm always left out of the van?" Klaus whined. "Be honest, is it because I was the first kid asleep at the slumber party?"

"Wha- I still don't know what that means." Alison replied, looking to Luther for assistance.

Five jumped in. "We think we found your pattern. For when the ghosts, you know-" he was waving one hand in the air, "-appear."

Klaus was taken aback. "Great!" He smiled and waited for Five to continue. "So…what is it?" He frowned when only silence followed. His siblings were all glancing quickly at one another.

"Um, well," Vanya started, "So, we don't know how long the first one was in the house. But the second one showed up when Ben thought you were doping again, and then the third when we made you remember the mausoleum. We think that's the pattern. They show up when you feel powerless." She was biting her lip, looking regretful for being the one to say it out loud.

Klaus scoffed doubtfully. Was that it? "I mean, that's not really a stretch because I am powerless here."

"No listen," Five interjected. "Dad tried to force you to confront your fear of the dead, but all he did was teach you to endure abuse without question. Everything he did served to take control away from you."

"What, so now we're all just stating obvious facts? I don't understand how this is relevant to anything right now."

"I'm saying," Five continued, "That it's not a problem with your powers, Klaus. It's a problem with your psyche."

"Okay great. Any more unhelpful things you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Klaus, these aren't powerful spirits forcing their way into the physical world through you," Luther interjected gently. "These are spirits that you've made powerful, you've let them in because you…" Klaus could tell Luther selecting his words carefully, "-you don't know how to keep them out. You only know how to endure."

Klaus's mood started to turn, and he definitely felt like screaming. This all just sounded like rephrases of 'It's your fault.' 

Suddenly, Diego was front and center, taking Klaus's shoulders in a firm grip. 

"Klaus. You were never taught to set boundaries to protect yourself. You told me once that the dead gravitate towards you because it feels good for them to be near you- it makes them feel alive. Klaus, you are the high that the dead chase- and an addict only ever takes. They'll take your space, take your body- take your life if you let them. You can't control the dead- you can't stop an addict from going after its vice, you know that. You can only control your own boundaries- they've become weak because you've forgotten that you're actually in control." 

"I'm not in control. I can't control the dead." Klaus was shaking his head, rejecting the idea at its core.

"Not them, Klaus," Ben reminded him gently. "You don't need to control them- you can't. Just yourself. This doesn't have to be something that just happens to you." 

Klaus paused, giving himself a minute to take everything in. This was a suspiciously concerted and coherent presentation on the part of his siblings. Five hadn't contested a single thing that had come out of anyone's mouth. Almost as if- 

"Let me see my file." Klaus had never been so certain of anything in his entire life.

There was a collective silence.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Klaus." 

Wow, not even a play at denial, he thought. But, the fact that the response came from Five only served to reinforce Klaus's determination to get his hands on dear daddy's notes. He could see Alison covertly sliding a stack of papers behind her where she leaned against the desk. So that's how it was going to be. Okay. Klaus threw his hands up in apparent surrender.

"Okay, okay," he drawled out like they'd worn him down with their refusal. "God, I need coffee right now," he groaned out. "You know guys, I really miss cocaine." It worked. He could see his sibling's postures relaxing. "Coffee? Anyone? Five?"

Five nodded with as much enthusiasm at it was possible for him to demonstrate. He accompanied Klaus out the room, the rest of them following suit.

"Wait," Ben shouted once they were in the hallway, and Klaus knew he'd been found out.

He bolted for a secondary door leading back to the room they'd just exited.

"Psych!" He shouted over one shoulder. He scooped the papers from the desk as he passed through to the opposite side of the room, his siblings crashing after him in pursuit.

"Klaus! Don't" The desperation in Luther's voice gave him pause, but only momentarily.

"You know what? Screw you guys. You all get to read my file, and I can't? It's my fucking life."

"Klaus, please." That was Diego, which pissed Klaus off to no end. Diego was supposed to side against Luther and with Klaus.

"Vanya?" Klaus turned to the one sibling most likely to side with him at this point.

As if suddenly realizing the weight of her response, she became a deer in headlights.

"I-," she was shaking her head. "I don't-"

"Then it's settled! Delightful!" Klaus concluded, flipping the report open. It was heavy and typewritten on Hargreeves-embossed paper. He ran one finger down the first page of neatly compiled notes.

_Number Four demonstrates reluctance to engage with spectral entities due to discomfort surrounding the nature of death. This behavior may be subject to extinction with intensive aversion therapy._

_Number Four is not responding to aversion therapy in intended manner. The boundaries of the subject's will must be eroded before meaningful progress can be achieved. A stricter training regimen will be employed._

Klaus rolled his eyes. This was all common knowledge. He flipped forward a couple pages.

_Number Four continues to act erratically in response to newly implemented structure. Subject has taken to leaving the facility premises during the night, resulting in detrimental lethargy during routine team training. Circadian rhythms will be reestablished with the administration of nightly sedatives._

_Number Four is responding well to the sedatives. Dosage to be increased._

Klaus frowned. He thought the sleeping pills had been given to help with his anxiety. He flipped through the pages at a faster rate, taking in bits as he skimmed.

_Number Four has taken to self-medicating with alcohol obtained on premises. This behavior has yielded an unexpected success: subject's behavior has become more malleable and susceptible to guidance._

_Number Four's alcohol dependence has proven to be an exploitable asset. Subject is willing to acquiesce to instruction when predicated upon obtainment of a reward. As such, I will continue to leave the liquor cabinet unlocked. An unintended Pavlovian success!_

_Number Four has begun to consume a variety of stimulants in addition to his usual alcohol intake. Subject's stomach needed to be pumped two nights prior to this note, resulting in three days of missed combat training._

_Number Four has begun to leave the premise nightly to engage in sexual activity. Consider reinstating the benzodiazepines._

_Number Four's substance dependence is decidedly limited in its usefulness. Ingestion of alcohol exceeding that of 0.1% BMI results in decreased contact performance. Ingestion of psychotropic drugs ceases subject's contact with spectral entities entirely._

Klaus felt suspended in weightless dream-like state. His father had been aware of all of this? He turned to the last page. There was a note at the bottom, hand-scribbled and underlined.

_I sought to deteriorate Number Four's willfulness by exploiting the boy's predilection for substance abuse. Unfortunately, such employed substances yielded the unforeseen consequence of entirely suppressing the boy's attunement to the spectral dimension. Number Four has developed an addition disorder, the scale of which is all-encompassing. Recovery unlikely. Experiment an absolute failure and abysmal waste of resources._

Klaus blinked. The papers in his hands had started shaking. How strange. There was a far-away pounding in his head. He focused on it. It was his own heartbeat, racing away like a rabbit's. Huh. He thought that maybe he ought to be feeling something by now. Except there was nothing. Just the sense of absolute finality settling in his gut, deep and low like a funeral bell. Oh well.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Diego watched as the papers in Klaus's hands began to tremble, and he reached out to take them from his brother's white-knuckled clutch. Klaus's face was blank in a way Diego had never seen, flat and expressionless like a Venetian mask. Like the dead.

Around him, his siblings stood unnaturally still, waiting for a reaction. Something low and primal seeded itself in Diego's gut, like his body knew what was going to happen before his conscious mind could process the signs.

There was crack like a shotgun, and suddenly, they were plunged into a bitter chill. Diego watched as a glass of water on a nearby table crystallized with frost before his eyes. His breath was visible in white gusts in front of his face. At once, the smell of wet earth was so thick and omnipotent that Diego briefly thought he'd asphyxiate. It felt being buried alive.

For a brief moment all his siblings, bar Klaus, made horrified eye-contact. Five looked pale to the point of exsanguination.

And then, the sounds of whispers. Tens, then hundreds, then thousands, all hissing at once, indiscernible in their content. Around them room, Diego could see flickers of blurs in space, becoming more pigmented as the sound grew to a deafening static. He looked around. Ben was gone.

And Klaus, staring flatly off at nothing, seemingly unaware of his surroundings, tear tracks reflecting off of his expressionless face.

Diego made eye contact with Luther. Why wasn't he doing something? He was supposed to be their Number One, to guide them, to get them to safety. Somehow, the message must have been received because Luther suddenly snapped to. He lunged forward to scoop Klaus up bridal style, turning to them all with unquestionable authority. 

"We need to get out of the house. Diego and Alison lead. Five in the middle. Vanya, there's enough sound for you. Cover them," He gestured to the first three with his head and shifted the weight of Klaus in his hold. "I'll head up the back. Stick together. Move."

And like a rusty machine staggering back to life, they fell into place like well-worn cogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I fully acknowledge that these plot points are basically lifted straight from the show. Whoops?
> 
> Also, I'd like to think Luther would have better conflict management skills the second time around.
> 
> Also also, you're telling me a multibillionaire like Reggie wouldn't have been able to keep Klaus on the straight and narrow if he really wanted to? Nah.


	7. Diego/Klaus

If Diego hadn't already been about to shit his pants in terror, he would have straight up hurled at the sight of some of these ghosts. Everything about them exuded a deeply unnatural energy. Even the ones that were not visibly deformed elicited an instinctive punch of revolt. In appearance, they were indistinguishable from humans, but it was as if his body was reacting to the space these creatures occupied, and not necessarily the details his eyes were feeding his conscious.

He and Alison were creeping along the hallway walls a few feet ahead of the rest of the team. Stealth had been sacrificed for speed at this point, but muscle memory still held. The deafening static masked their footfalls, but also obscured the location of the nearby wailing dead. Every so often, he or Alison would spot some grey specter lumbering down an adjoining hallway, and they'd sharply divert their course. 

Diego had realized that, if they didn't spot Klaus with their beady, flat eyes, they tended to sway in place aimlessly, looking around, seemingly unaware of their environment. But the second they caught sight of his brother, jostling limply in Luther's arms, it was all over.

Vanya swiped out bright vibrations at each new specter that bee-lined for them.

They reached the balcony landing together, halting abruptly at the sight of hundreds of half-formed shadows flickering in the grand hallway below. There was no way they could slip through undetected.

Alison spun around to Diego, apparently having reached the same conclusion.

"We have to go up!" Her voice was barely discernible above the ambient roar of the dead.

Diego turned to impart this new plan to Five, Vanya, and Luther. He gestured to the next set stairs emphatically, mouthing the word 'up' as he did so. The three of them nodded, faces drawn and wary. 

Vanya sent out a burst of vibration, clearing the pathway between their current location and the foot of their target stairwell. They raced towards it as one unit, dodging the hands that clawed out at them, trying to get to Klaus.

As they ascended the floors, the number of spirits inhabiting each dwindled. 

"Attic!" Diego bit out, Alison nodding in agreement. 

He looked over one shoulder to assess the state of his siblings. Klaus was still cradled in Luther's arm, eyes a slit, looking absent from the world. Luther was breathing heavily under the strain of running while carrying their brother, the frigid air making his muscles stiff and unyielding. Five was practically on the balls of his feet, eyes darting about, ready to jump and swerve at a moment's notice. And Vanya. Vanya's body was shaking, and despite the temperature her forehead was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. There was a sinking feeling in Diego's gut. She was reaching her limit.

They clambered into the attic, Diego shutting and locking the door behind them. By the window, Klaus's prone form had been lowered to the floor. Alison was kneeling over him, patting his face, trying to get him to come to, calling out his name with cracking sobs.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Klaus was in a strange, liminal place- much like the one that existed after he'd learned of Ben's death, but before the bone-deep grief had settled in. There was a pleasant fog blanketing his awareness of the external world, becoming thicker incrementally. He was dimly conscious of his body curled heavily in Luther's arm. The muffled sounds of Diego gruffly shouting orders, Luther's heavy breathing, Vanya grunting between brief flashes of white light. 

Beyond that, the gravel-deep voices of the dead, screaming, crying, pleading. For once, the wet chill and smell of tilled earth felt like coming home. Those particular elements had been his first sensory memories, replacing what should have been a mother's warmth and breast. They were unmistakable. And right now, they helped to ground Klaus, who was awash in a sea of untethered and otherwise unfamiliar sensations. 

Klaus marveled indifferently at the variety of faces that rushed past him as Luther pressed forwards. Contorted. Desperate. Wild. These weren't people. These were just the things that got left behind in the move. Klaus related. What a world.

One in particular stood out amongst the rest- definitely familiar, an old friend? No- an old love? The face passed as swiftly as it had come. Klaus frowned, grabbing at tissue-thin memories. Why couldn't he think straight? There was a muted sense of frustration, vastly unpleasant in comparison to his warm blanket of apathy. The realization came to him with staggering simplicity: Dave. Oh.

_Oh._

Klaus inhaled sharply. There was an abrupt increase in the intensity of his surroundings. Dave? He had looked like he was in agony, one bloody hand holding in the contents of his chest. _Oh god._ Grief was a vice grip around Klaus's heart. 

Then, his body was being jostled rhythmically, and Klaus could tell he was being carried up a flight of stairs, could hear the slam of shutting door. The whispers and wails of the dead halved in volume. Klaus could feel his body being lowered to the floor, and he threw his hands out instinctively to brace himself.

God, how the fuck had he ended up in this headspace? Trying to remember anything that came before felt like reaching back years in time. Nevertheless, he felt himself starting to come back into his body. It was excruciating.

Dad- that's right. Damn. What a bastard. In what little fog remained, Klaus wondered if everything was, in fact, really funny. Should he be laughing? A free thought was floating around the back of his mind: he started laughing right now, would he ever stop? He toyed with the notion, like teetering on a knife's edge.

But someone was calling his name. Someone was pulling Klaus back into his own body by speaking his name. Alison. Her words were distorted, but rapidly becoming clearer.

"I heard a rumor that you came back to us, Klaus."

Coming to felt like waking up from a bout of sleep paralysis. Klaus jolted upwards, swallowing in air so quickly he thought he might vomit. Alison was crouched over him, her hands touching his face and pushing back his hair from his forehead. She was crying. Klaus focused on the solidness of the floor under his palms. His entire body was pins and needles. He looked around. They were all in the attic.

Luther had his hands on his knees, hunched over and breathing heavily. Vanya was to the side of him, her fingers twitching nervous, little trickles of white light crackling around her. Five was pacing the length of the attic with his hands in his hair. Diego was looking straight at Klaus and biting his lip nervously, but his expression was otherwise unreadable. 

At the foot of the window sill, Klaus's tarot cards lay spread, forgotten and untouched from two days previous. The Chariot card was still face up. Klaus nearly scoffed out loud. What a fucking joke. 

"Why," he swallowed to wet his throat and tried again. "Why are we in the attic?"

"The whole first floor is blocked." Alison was shaking her head in disbelief. "They haven't gotten this far up yet." 

Klaus nodded absently. That made sense. "Harder to manifest the farther up from the ground."

There was a minute of silence as Klaus gathered his bearings. He looked around at his siblings, grimacing at the state of them. He inhaled a lungful of heavy, frigid air, holding it, letting it snuff out the last vestiges of willful hope. He looked at his siblings again and exhaled. He could only see one solution. 

"You have to get out." He pointed towards the attic window.

Luther was already shaking his head in disagreement. "No."

"Please, Luther. This," he gestured in a full circle around him, "this is my shit- my fault. You guys have to leave. Right now."

Again, Luther shook his head. This time Vanya spoke up. "We're not leaving you here alone Klaus."

"This will follow me wherever I go. If I stay, at least I can keep it within the house. I think." Klaus was ready to drop to his knees and plead with them. "Please, please. Don't make me watch you become them."

The wood of the attic door cracked as the dead pushed up against it. Klaus flinched.

Beside him, Vanya was breathing deeply, moving her hands in manner similar to that of a conductor's. A ring of white light fluttered into existence around the six of them, scintillating horizontally above the plane of the floor. A few feet away from Vanya, Alison and Five stood together, one of her hands squeezing his shoulder. Their terrified gazes were trained on the attic door.

Klaus blinked back tears. Behind the revulsion at what was happening, there was paralyzing shame. The guilt of exposing his family to this horror, for putting them in this impossible situation, was too much to bear. It must have been written all over his face, because there were a sudden pair of hands cradling his head.

"Klaus." 

Klaus hiccupped a laugh. Diego was the last person he wanted to talk to. Years spent trying to get Diego's attention made him sensitive to his brother's judgement. On the most surface level, these circumstances that Klaus has brought on them, this _failure_ , was humiliating. Or, at the very least, extremely unattractive he thought.

The hinges on the attic door whined and then busted loose from the wood of the frame. 

"Look at me, Klaus." 

Klaus obeyed, because what else did he have left? There was an intensity in Diego's gaze that made him feel off-center. A conviction that Klaus could get lost within, if he let himself.

"You are powerful beyond measure, Klaus. Look around. You've literally raised the dead." It was true. In the far corners of the room, human shapes were taking form.

Diego continued. "This is your body, your powers, no one else's. Yours- not mine, not the academy's, not the dead's. Do you understand what I'm saying? This is your life to take control of. No one else can do that for you. It belongs only to you."

Klaus clutched onto his brother's forearms like they were a lifeline.

"If you're strong enough to bring them here, you're strong enough to send them back."

Klaus looked around. A couple of fully formed ghosts were approaching Vanya's barrier, making direct eye contact with him. One was missing half its head. The other, half its chest. Part of Klaus wanted to attempt was Diego was suggesting, if only to lord it over him in the afterlife. Another part of him wanted to laugh in his brother's face and then lie face down on the dusty floor. 

In the end, the decision was made for Klaus, because a man flickered into existence _inside_ the circle and cracked Vanya across her head with one swipe. Diego lunged towards her as the light of her barrier tilted on one axis and then vanished into the ether. 

And then several things happened at once for Klaus.

First was the gut-wrenching knowledge that these spirits were going to use his _own_ powers to take his family away from him. Second was an emotional ramp up that started at horrified panic, passed through violent anger, and then settled on absolute calm, bypassing self-doubt entirely. And third was the certainty that he would either banish the dead or become one of them. It was all devastatingly simple, really.

Their presence in the physical world was gift given by Klaus, and they'd far outstayed their welcome. Ben was right- Klaus didn't need to control them. They were irrelevant. Klaus would make them irrelevant. Diego was right- It was his body, his space, his life, and only he got to choose the entities that could hold power over him.

Klaus could feel himself extending out from the perimeter of his own body, the strange sensation of his awareness expanding beyond the limitations of his physical senses. These ghosts were extensions of himself, of his own will, his own conscious. And he would take back all the scattered bits of himself as easily as blowing out candle flames one by one.

_Out, out, out._

As if watching from his mind's eye, his consciousness radiated outwards in all directions, spirits evaporating into gentle breezes as he made contact. He hit the walls of the attic room and kept going. Down through the stairwell, skating across the hallways, plunging over the balconies. Skipping from spirit to spirit, face after face after face, extinguishing the fire and jumping to the next one. He paused to metaphorically caress Dave's face before sending his former love back to his peace.

_Back, back, back._

He was dimly aware of his own body, still standing in the attic, warming as the chill began to recede.

And when he could sense that there were no more pieces left to pick up, the expansion slowed to a halt, stayed for a beat, and then contracted into himself like a rubber band slowly snapping back. He retreated from the basement, through the kitchen, up through the pipes behind the walls, away from the attic walls. It felt like a never-ending inhale, like he'd been breathing in for some time, but his lungs still hadn't taken their fill.

The sensation of his full awareness resettling back into the limits of his physical body had him staggering backwards. Several sets of hands caught him on the descent. He blinked and tried to focus on his surroundings. The attic was now dry and warm with sunlight, smelling of aged wood. A thought niggled at him momentarily. He glanced around frantically- oh, there was Vanya, sitting on the floor, nursing a bleeding wound on the side of her head, but looking alive and relieved. Good. He relaxed.

It was strange: in the newfound quiet, he could hear the voices of his siblings trying to get his attention, but they were garbled and warped, and he couldn't quite focus on them. And then, because Klaus had always had an impeccable sense for drama, he giggled manically before hitting the floor in a dead faint.


	8. Diego/Klaus

Diego was present when Klaus woke up. They'd carried him down to his bedroom from the attic, eyes darting about quickly, looking for anything that might've remained. Once they'd settled Klaus's body in his bed, they'd left momentarily to scout the perimeter of the house. Diego stayed with their brother, sitting on the edge of his bed, idly sharpening a knife. He let its weight in his palm soothe him.

The violent turnabout of events left his body feeling thrashed, his mind stunned. Swinging from shit-your-pants terror to face-of-god awe ultimately yielded an emotional limbo that he knew all of his siblings, perhaps bar Klaus, were experiencing. 

Diego looked at Klaus. The duration of Klaus's exorcising had only spanned the length of a half-minute, but he'd returned more whole than he ever remembered seeing his brother. Diego wasn't sure exactly what had happened, only that Klaus had gone rigid and blank and oddly bright, the chill immediately receding, the vociferous roar deadening to a dull ringing in his ears. And something else- Diego wasn't sure he was remembering correctly- but Klaus was sort of… off the floor. As in, Diego seemed to recall seeing two inches of space between the plane of the floor and tips of Klaus's dangling feet. It didn't make any sense at all.

Beside him, Klaus inhaled sharply and groaned, his eyebrows knit together in a frown like he was protesting his body's decision to wake. Diego leaned over and placed a heavy hand on Klaus's ankle.

"Klaus."

Klaus opened his eyes blearily. Diego waited for him to gather his bearings.

"Oh shit, are we all dead?" Was the first thing out of his mouth. His tone implied that the idea was only of minor inconvenience.

Diego frowned. "What? No!" He was incredulous.

Klaus looked surprised at this. "Oh." His eyebrows were raised, his expression considering. "Just you and I, then?"

"No one died, Klaus."

"That seems unlikely." Klaus's expression was doubtful. Diego already wanted to scream.

There was a cacophony of footfalls and the wood of the floor creaking as the rest of their siblings clambered into the room.

Alison was the first to speak: "Klaus, honey, are you okay?"

Then Vanya cut in: "How are feeling?"  
Then Luther over the both of them: "Klaus, how did you do that?"

Ben popped into existence by the nightstand. He took one long, assessing look at Klaus, before apparently washing his hands of the situation as soon as he'd determined everyone was in fine health. "Don't know what happened, don't care how you're doing."

"All of you assholes shut the fuck up." Predictably, that was Five. "Klaus, did you know you could levitate?"

Diego exhaled in relief, it wasn't just him that had seen it. He glanced at Klaus. His brother was clearly weighing the pros and cons of engaging all of his siblings at once. He glanced at Diego, who understood at once how exhausted Klaus must have been to discard the opportunity to be the center of everyone's attention.

"This is a nightmare. I'm going back to bed." Then, he turned over, tucked his hand under a pillow and closed his eyes. Diego shuttled everyone out of the room.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later, Diego found Klaus in the library, sitting crossed legged atop one of the antique desks. His eyes were closed, face screwed up in frustration. Diego knew that his brother had been trying to see if he could recreate the mindset that precipitated the alleged levitation. It had taken a full day for his siblings to convince Klaus that the assertion wasn't, in fact, a group prank. Since then, he, Ben, and Five had been huddling up to try and make it happen again. Well, Klaus and Five had been working on it. Ben sort of just lounged in the general vicinity and read a book.

Klaus's eyes fluttered open when heard Diego enter. His smile was a little too manic, and Diego knew his presence was a welcome distraction. They'd been doing this thing for the past couple days where, instead of talking like functional adults, they'd smile at each other shyly across the room. It felt ridiculous and juvenile, but Diego felt it was necessary that he give Klaus the space he needed to recover emotionally.

Klaus hopped down from the desk, the movement lifting the hem of his shirt, uncovering a portion of slim abdomen. He smirked when he saw how Diego's attention was immediately drawn to it.

"You look good," Diego shrugged with a lazy smile. It was unbelievable how near-death catastrophes put certain things in perspective. Like how he didn't mind that Klaus knew Diego found him extremely attractive. Or that Klaus liked to use this to his own advantage. Case in point:

"I feel good," Klaus agreed. "All of me is in me right now." He smiled playfully, running his hands down the length of his body in a caricature of sexual overture. He looked up at Diego from under his eyelashes. "You could be too, if you wanted."

Diego swallowed dryly. He knew this was a game to which he'd capitulate, but fronted indifference based on principal. Both Klaus and he liked a good chase. He adopted a considering expression, like Klaus's suggestion was only of mild interest to him.

"Not even gonna make me work for it?" Diego shook his head, taking the bit and running with it. "Didn't take you for that kind of boy."

"I'll be any kind of boy you want, Diego," Klaus purred, and it felt like kindling taking to flame. It killed Diego how a line like that could work on him. Klaus's grin was catlike, and Diego had the feeling that he, himself, was the canary. 

Diego stepped towards his brother with intent, enjoying the way Klaus's eyes widened in surprise. He internally scoffed. Even after 30 years, Klaus never seemed to anticipate Diego taking the lead. He crowded Klaus's space, resting his hands casually on his waist, tugging his brother closer. Klaus tilted his head, leaning in for a kiss, smiling like he'd won some grand prize. Diego leaned back, evading the lip-contact, letting Klaus sway further into his grip. Diego held him there.

Klaus frowned, expression unamused, but he chuckled breathily and brought his palms to rest on Diego's collarbones. "You're such a prick," he whispered.

Diego grinned. "Mmm. That's your type. I know what you like."

Klaus rolled his eyes and scoffed. "You don't know shit, Di."

In response, Diego moved his hands from Klaus's waist to the wrists settled on his chest. He gripped them firmly, bringing them down and around Klaus's own back. With one hand, he held Klaus's wrists behind his own back, the other reaching up to take a gentle fistful of Klaus's hair. He watched as his brother inhaled shakily, pupils dilating, his eyes becoming dark and glossy.

Diego could feel his smile turn smug. "Yeah, see that? I know what you need, baby," he murmured. Klaus made a quiet keening noise in the back of his throat. Diego felt simultaneously all powerful and entirely powerless. There was a momentum taking hold that he knew he'd have no control over- wasn't even sure he wanted to.

Slowly, so slowly, taking the length of an eternity, his and Klaus's lips made gentle contact in the middle. Klaus's eyes were shut, long eyelashes fluttering, cheeks flushing. The scope of his wanting was there, evident right on his face. Diego tried to suppress his awe. He was going lose his handle on the situation. Quickly.

Diego released Klaus's wrists, instead bringing them up to cradle Klaus's jaw and pull him away.  
Klaus whined. 

"What the fuck, Diego?" His eyes were half-lidded, long neck tilted back, hands coming up to draw Diego back in.

Diego shook his head. "We can't in here." He cleared his throat. "Your room or mine?" He hoped it wasn't a presumptuous question, but also didn't care all that much.

Klaus inhaled through his nose, looking around as if just remembering their surroundings. "Mine's closer. Marginally." He smiled, expression sly. It was enough to make Diego nearly keel over.

"We're gonna have to make a run for it. If we don't want to run into the others." 

Klaus smile was entirely gleeful, and he took off before Diego could get in another word. Diego groaned in annoyance but followed in kind. They raced one another in the halls before stumbling through Klaus's door gracelessly.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Klaus shut the door behind him and turned around only to be pushed flat back up against it. Diego was on him with animal intensity and Klaus happily unfurled beneath him. There was something cathartic about having his teenage fantasies come to fruition in his childhood room. It made Klaus feel young again. These kisses were hungry, carrying with them years of mutual longing and a mourning for the things that could have been. For Klaus, this was the wide-eyed, frenzied sexual exploration of his youth that he'd never experienced.

Klaus worked two arms around Diego's neck, clutching at his hair, trying to wrangle his brother in closer than physically possible. In response, Diego grabbed either side of Klaus's waist, pulling him off the door and walking him, backwards, towards his own bed. When the back of Klaus's knees hit the mattress, they paused, Diego haphazardly unfastening his knife halter and flinging it into a corner of the room. Klaus helpfully slid his hands beneath the hem of the Diego's undershirt, encouraging him to peel the garment off. Diego acquiesced without a word, and Klaus pulled his own off in kind.

Before Klaus's shirt could hit the ground, Diego had pushed him backwards onto the mattress, parted his thighs with two hands and settled himself down between them. They were hip-to-hip, Diego pinning down Klaus's hands on either side of his head, making him arch up to catch his kisses. Each time, Diego would pull away, his grin all teeth, apparently enjoying the way he could make Klaus undulate beneath him. It was maddening.

"Fucking seriously, Di?" Klaus whined at his brother, the last word reversing into a gasp as Diego pointedly ground his hips into Klaus's. 

Before he could process what was happening, Diego had unbuttoned and unzipped the fly of Klaus's pants with one hand movement. Klaus lifted his hips as Diego tore the garment off of his body, divesting himself of his own pair right after. Klaus watched breathlessly as more and more of Diego's body was revealed. His hands itched to grab at it, to bring him closer. But he waited for Diego's lead. That was the game they were playing right now.

"Come on, Diego." Klaus knew he sounded like a brat. In fact, he was counting on it.

Diego surged down, letting the full weight of his body press down on Klaus's, fixing his teeth at a spot below Klaus's ear, and sliding one hand under the elastic band of Klaus's neon underwear. Klaus groaned in relief as calloused fingers curled around his cock, and gave a slow, languid pump. Thank fuck.

But then, to his utter horror, Diego continued at that pace, removing his hand entirely when Klaus tried to thrust into his grip at a faster pace. It was just fast enough that Klaus's balls were uncomfortably tight up against his body, just slow enough that there was no way he could come at this pace alone. Impatiently, Klaus reached down to take Diego into his own hand, but his brother shouldered his arm out of the way. In his frustration, he clawed angrily at Diego's back. Diego just snickered in response, easing Klaus's underwear further down his legs so that he could stroke at his perineum. Klaus exhaled a keening whine, bringing a fist down heavily on Diego's shoulder. Diego laughed harder. 

There was an intensity to his body's reactions that bordered on sharply overwhelming. In the back of his mind, Klaus was vaguely aware that he'd never had sex while dead sober. So that's was this was. His legs were shaking minutely under the strain of trying to keep his hips still. Klaus decided that he needed to take back the upper hand.

"Diego," he exhaled in his most bedroom voice. It worked. Diego paused his ministrations to look up at him.

"Please, I want you to fuck me." Klaus watched as Diego's eyes widened and he blinked quickly, trying to disguise his dazed, eager reaction. Bingo. But then, his gaze flitted about Klaus's face with a sincerity that had Klaus feeling uncharacteristically shy, despite what he'd just proclaimed. Klaus frowned at himself. 

That flash of insecurity must have been betrayed by his expression, because Diego leaned up for a series of gentle kisses, followed by a gruff, "You sure?" Klaus felt annoyed with himself.

"Diego, if you're not in me within five minutes, I'm gonna take care of the situation by myself," Klaus warned. Diego chuckled, and reached for the bottom drawer of Klaus's night stand. Klaus didn't want to ask how Diego knew where he stored his lube. Time and place for that one.

Klaus shucked off his underwear while Diego warmed a quantity of lube between his fingers. The sound of it never ceased to excite Klaus further. In no time, he was back on Klaus, maneuvering one of Klaus's legs to bend over Diego's shoulder at the knee. 

Diego pressed one well-lubed finger into Klaus, watching his face intently as Klaus's eyes fluttered shut and he gasped out a broken cry. Diego pulled back and did it again. And then again. He watched as Klaus pressed his head backwards into a pillow, arching his neck, chest becoming flushed. Klaus was seriously starting to worry he'd come before Diego even got his own dick in.

"Diego, you fucking prick, I'm not going last like this."

Diego chuckled, but it was shaky, and his pupils were blown wide. "You should be nicer to me, Klaus. Look how well I'm taking care of you." He punctuated this with a particularly sharp thrust of his fingers. Klaus shuddered.

"Yeah? I'll be even nicer when you make me come on your dick. Promise." Klaus had been trying for flippant with his tone, but he wasn't sure it had been achieved. Fuck it.

Finally, _finally_ , Diego lowered himself to a forearm and was pushing into Klaus, gently but steadily. Klaus inhaled through the initial discomfort, then exhaled as Diego became fully seated within him. Klaus glanced up and made breathless eye contact with his brother. He knew immediately he wasn't going to last. He shook his head at Diego, as if it would convey this information, clutching his body closer when Diego made shallow rocking movements.

"Fuck, stop Diego. Seriously, I'm going to come right the fuck now." 

Diego didn't stop. Instead, he let his head drop a bit, shaking his head while admitting, "Good. Me too."

Diego had barely given his blessing before Klaus was shuddering and coming, completely untouched, between them. The intensity and brevity of it all had Klaus huffing out tiny laughs between keening gasps. He felt Diego finish similarly inside of him, pressing a smile of disbelief into Klaus's neck.

Klaus ran his fingers absently up and down Diego's back as he pulled out and they both caught their breath. It definitely wasn't the most impressive Klaus had ever been in bed, but his body was content and safe in the aftermath in a way he'd never experienced. Diego lifted his head, his hair mussed and expression lazily embarrassed.

"You think we'll last longer next time?" He was shaking his head, like he was mockingly disappointed in the both of them.

Klaus laughed weightlessly. "Not a chance."

Diego's smile was boyish and playful. Klaus thought he looked beautiful. They lay atop each other until the sun was golden and waning into the evening. Then, Klaus was patting Diego's arm to get him up.

"Come on, let's go wash this dried, crusty come off of us before dinner. Mom said it'd be spaghetti."

Diego's eyes widened like Klaus had just told him he'd won the lottery.

"Thank god. I was beginning to think this day couldn't be turned around," he smiled cheekily at Klaus and slapped his ass as they hauled themselves off the bed.

Klaus opened the door a crack, peering into the hallway. It was clear.

"Wait until you see how many noodles I can twirl onto one fork," he turned to Diego, wagging his eyebrows. "Seriously, you're gonna be so turned on."

Klaus's body was light on its feet as they flitted towards the bathroom, fully present in a rare moment of genuine contentment. And also, he was alight with the thrill that they were about to steal all the hot water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! I'm gonna leave this fic off here. Personally, nothing irritates me more than a deus ex machina ending. But I think I'm gonna continue with this particular AU in a new fic, possibly exploring Klaus learning how to levitate.
> 
> Finally, I'd be a goddamn liar if I didn't give credit to my personal writing soundtrack. When writing, I find that the right song will do the majority of the emotional heavy-lifting for me.
> 
> _Teeth in the Grass_ \- Iron and Wine (Chap 1)  
>  _In My Feelings_ \- Lana Del Ray (Chap 1)  
>  _Falling Ashes_ \- Slowdrive (Chap 2)  
>  _Higher Love_ \- James Vincent McMorrow (Chap 2)  
>  _The Keepers_ \- Santigold (Chap 3)  
>  _Young Boys_ \- Sin Fang (Chap 3)  
>  _Dramatikk_ \- The Ruby Suns (Chap 4)  
>  _Alvar Alto_ \- Louis Weeks (Chap 4)  
>  _Everyone Wants to Rule the World_ \- Brothertiger (Chap 5)  
>  _Not About You_ \- Haiku Hands (Chap 5)  
>  _Fire in the Empire_ \- William Crighton (Chap 6)  
>  _If I Had A Heart_ \- Fever Ray (Chap 6)  
>  _Oh the Joy_ \- Jonathan Eng (Chap 7)  
>  _In the Air Tonight_ \- Protomen (Chap 7 & sexiest drum crash in the history of music)  
>  _Fur Hildegard von Bingen_ \- Devendra Banhart (Chap 8)  
>  _Now or Never Now_ \- Metric (Chap 8, head over fucking heels)
> 
> (TUA Teeth… on Spotify) Feel free to let me know what y'all listen to while writing. Always looking for more tunes!
> 
> Over and out.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are king. Let me know what you guys want/what needs work!


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